Funny Naked Swedish Hardbread Dance.....

http://tv4play.se/noje_och_humor/talang?videoId=1.943786&renderingdepartment=2.34566

Having watched this now about 50 times.... it is still as funny as the first time!
Click on the link.. the link is straight from TV4 not from Youtube so the quality should be a lot better!
:-)

One of those months....

March has been one of those months where everything has seemed to happen at once.
There have been great highs and lows...

Good news though is that I have more work, starting next week for an organisation called PREI. They are an organisation here that helps immigrants integrate into their new lives here in Sweden. They offer over 30 different learning and hobby courses as well as a place to come and meet others and build a support system when you first come over. It is a great system, as I know only too well how isolated and lonely you feel when you first move here and you can't understand anything or anyone...
So I shall be teaching English there, 10 hours a week which is great when combined with my work at Folkuniversitetet and Studiefrämjandet! All together it comes to about 50% of a working week which is a great improvement from next to nothing!

(Although I don’t actually get paid for these courses until they are finished…. which for the distance course below will not be until July!!!! and the others are 6-9 weeks long each!... sigh…..At least the PREI work will be paid monthly so once that starts at least something will be regularly going into my bank account…. it should be enough to cover groceries for each month..I hope… after the dreaded Swedish tax of 33% Thank you very much Swedish tax man!)

So apart from teaching the conversation courses at the above places I am also running the distance online course for the Cambridge English Examinations CAE and FCE. This I do from home as assignments are submitted via email and we conduct online chats each week as well. This is fantastic as I get to sit at home in my track pants with a cup of tea while marking and chatting! (Brilliant!!!)

So it would be during this busy time when everything is taking off that I get sick. Not just a few days sick, but over 11+ days lying in bed, not functioning sick.
It all started when I had a blood test for my thyroid (I have an underactive thyroid) as the doctor said that it was a high dose and he wanted me on a lower one. He had already put me down quite a bit about 6 weeks previously. So when he said that he wanted me to go lower I knew it was not going to turn out well. I knew from my time in London that on this particular dose I could not function, got sick, my immune system stopped working etc....
Do you think the doctor listened?
Of course not....
So down the dose went...
5 days later I found that I could not even get out of bed... I felt like I had just done 3 all nighter parties, or was severely jetlagged. My words were stumbling, I kept dropping things as my coordination was severely out of whack and worst of all I found myself tearing up at things on TV... happy things, sad things, reality TV things... OH MY GOD.....

I gave myself a week to try and let the new medication adjust.. no such luck, I just became more tired , irritable and teary!
I emailed the doctor for another blood test but he said to go back to the right dose straight away...
If only he had listened...but it was too late…
Because while my immune system was weakened, I caught the most awful Swedish cold imaginable.
I used up every paper towel product in the house with blowing, it was non stop and constant... I coughed and coughed to 4 am most mornings... I ended up going to the acute nurse at the health centre as I was all over the place and after only 3 hours sleep over a few days, was seriously losing my mind...
They duly blood tested me and said that it was a virus... but the good news is that they gave me the most awesome cough medicine I have ever experienced.

Now when they said they were prescribing this, I had my doubts, as let’s face it, cough medicine isn’t that great....
BUT this one is special in that it stops the brain from sending the impulse signal to cough... AND it has morphine!!! So one little 10ml dose would knock me out for the night and there would be NO COUGHING.
WOW...this stuff is MAGIC!

I have not been sick for a very very long time until now... and it could have been prevented if my doctor had just listened to me. This is what really annoys me!
Anyway I am back on the road to recovery... that is actually out of bed... but I am still blocked in one ear... so I think a trip to the pharmacy this week shall be needed as I taught a class last night and I can't judge how loud I am speaking or hear what they are saying!.....

To end this post on a good note, my partner had good news this month. Before I moved here he had started the pre course for an electrician qualification. After he had finished all of his exams (and passed) the new government at that time froze all funding for the course. Therefore he could not carry on.
Nearly two years later he gets a phone call saying there is now a place and he starts Monday.... that was 3 weeks ago now. We are so happy that finally there is something to look forward to! He will be qualified in just under a year. It’s a good thing he is good at maths because he showed me his work from the first few days and I could not do ANY of the math in his books, let alone understand all the symbols and things.....

So it’s been “one of those months”….

Let’s hope April is more calm!

WoW Intervention!

I am the partner of a World of Warcraft addict..... Anyone who plays this game will appreciate this clip... or anyone who knows of someone who plays for hours on end will also find this funny!

Sneezing Panda

Swedish for immigrants SFI

Reforms proposed for Sweden's immigrant language classes

Published: 6 Feb 09 11:45 CET
Online: http://www.thelocal.se/17410/20090206/

Sweden’s subsidized language courses for immigrants have been given a failing grade by a state quality control agency, despite recent attempts to improve the programme’s curriculum.

“The introduction of a new curriculum for Swedish for Immigrants (SFI) hasn’t brought about an improvement in results,” said the Swedish Agency for Public Management in a statement.

According to the agency’s findings, presented to the government on Thursday, more than one in three SFI students fail to complete the programme within three years of starting their studies.
And among those that do get through the entire curriculum, only half manage a passing grade in the programme’s highest level within three years.
The agency carried out the analysis following a government request in February 2008 in which it asked the agency to examine what sort of reforms would help improve SFI.

In carrying out the study, the agency compared results from students enrolled in SFI before and after the implementation of a new curriculum in 2003 and found that the changes had no noticeable effect.
The agency calls the findings “unsatisfactory” saying there is “great room for improvement” at SFI and outlining a number of suggested changes.

First on the list of proposed changes is giving more consideration to students’ educational background when assigning them to a specific class. The agency found many instances where students with both high and low levels of education were placed in the same classroom, which hindered the progress of both groups.
In addition, the agency suggests expanding opportunities for SFI courses to be geared toward specific careers. By having an expanded, industry-specific vocabulary, SFI graduates would then be better equipped to enter the workforce.

The report also proposes that SFI implement a wider range of flexible lecture schedules, including distance learning opportunities, to increase the likelihood that students continue with their studies even if they find employment.

Me: The idea of SFI itself is a noble one. BUT let's provide some quality teaching with good resources!!!! I had a variety of teachers... and while their hearts were in the right place, some should have been embarrassed to stand in front of a class with little to no prep. It would have been great even if they had turned up for class most days too. I know that if I prepared English lessons to the standards of my SFI lessons I would be without work within the week.

Yipppeeee I have more work!!!!

I now have a few things up my sleeve so to speak for the coming couple of months!

Folkuniverstitetet, a nationwide adult learning institution here in Sweden have offered me some adult conversation classes and an online distance course where I will be teaching and guiding students who are studying for Cambridge English exams. Through them they are also going to pay for me to do a training course to become a Cambridge oral assessor for the oral exams which happen a couple of times per year. AWESOME!!!!!

I also start tomorrow evening re teaching my New Zealand course at Studiefrämjandet, another more informal adult learning/hobby institution. So that will be easy as I have done all the hard work previously in the planning and preparation stages when I first prepared the course! Hopefully I should also have an English conversation course for pensioners with them as well towards the end of the month.

Things are finally moving and looking up. It has been a long and hard road... it is so great that after all this time I finally have a bit more of my foot squeezing in the employment door!

I know it's childish but.....

I admit it... Even after a year and a half here now I still have a giggle to myself whenever I see the word FART in big signs here in Sweden... also the word på means on... so.....

Like I said.. I know it's childish but I really can't help it!

:-)

It was about this time last year...

Around this time last year I came a cropper on the ice... well today the worst happened.
I had baked some chocolate cupcakes with chocolate butter cream icing, a whole tray full of about 30 to take to where I used to go to learn Swedish (SFI) to say thank you for your help and I am not coming back as I have some work for the next few months. It was -20 degrees outside and there was snow on the wooden stairs down from our apartment to the ground.

Now I have been a little fearful of slipping on these stairs ever since I have moved here and I hate it that they are not covered from the weather. And because even though we "own" our apartment, here in Sweden you don't really own anything, you own the right to "live there" when it comes to apartments...

I would have put the chicken wire stuff going down the wooden stairs to give some grip as we have snow usually for around 6 months of the year. In NZ we use it on walking tracks etc to stop you from slipping over. Of course we can't do that here because we don't "own" the stairs.....

I started to go down the stairs VERY slowly one arm had the cupcakes (all secured) and the other was gripping the rail. 1/4 of the way down the worst happened and my feet slipped out from under me, the tray went flying to the bottom and I too tumbled quite a way managing to grab the rail just before the bottom.

The adrenaline makes you think everything is ok at the time... but now tonight I can hardly move, every part of my body has taken a bashing, my neck and back are very sore especially.

Funnily enough the cupcakes were unhurt in this display of winter grace.... as for me I am going to possibly be grumpy for a few days until it stops hurting everywhere!

Progress!!!!

I am working with a different step routine now that is not so hard out! I can now get all through the warm up and halfway through the beginners workout without dying.

I shall keep plugging away at it and I hope to be able to get all the way through soon! :-)

Sweaty heap...

Ok I did it.

I brought a step box.
It was the last one that was a display model so got 200 kr off it so it didn't cost me so much after all.

But OH MY GOD.
I could not go even 10 minutes before collapsing in a sweaty heap on the couch.

Seriously.
What the hell has happened to me?

I will keep going every day, I know its going to be a long hard haul of this lardy arse.
I was so fit in the summer with all the walking I was doing!!!!!

Here is a link to a web page that has numerous workouts (Full version) from step aerobics to aerobics to strength training and pilates.

When I opened them they automatically opened in windows media player (I play it through the laptop to the TV) and I saved the playlist on my desktop and without even downloading them I have them! Strange but true. Not sure how but that's what has happened.

So here is the link. The actual links are towards the bottom of the page in a long list.
http://www.fitcysters.com/forum/topics/18-new-free-full-length?page=1&commentId=2256561%3AComment%3A35885&x=1#2256561Comment35885

hmmmmmm fat bum needs to be trimmed.

I really want a step box to do step aerobics at home with a DVD.

Pros:
I have a fat bum
I am unfit
I used to do it in London and was quite good at one time
I know that it will get me fit
I have a really fat bum
It's cheaper than going to the gym
Its -14 outside so I don't feel like walking
The icy parts outside are really tricky to walk on and to even get a good pace going
I have a super fat bum.

Cons:
I will be using the money I am going to get from the Business course I taught that should be used for groceries or bills because we are poor.
We are broke.

Hmmmmmm still pondering for another few days.

Getting fit vs spending money.

And yes I KNOW that eating less is going to help.... but unless I eat nothing but air and dust, I know for me the only way to get it moving is for me to get moving.

Bah.

This years Gingerbread house effort....

It just didn't happen....
First I managed to spill icing all out over the rug in the lounge as was trying to stop the icing coming out of the icing bag at one end, holding a wall and then icing going all out the other end everywhere.... Spilling the smarties everywhere as I knocked over the big tube.

Then after cleaning up and retrying icing had gone hard, so I added water... to much water it would seem as all the icing ran down the roof in a big gloop....Tried to save it by throwing sprinkles all over it... THAT didn't work AT ALL..... (Sprinkles are now everywhere.....)

AAAAARGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

So decided to leave it until today, scraped off the runny icing (which still had not set overnight!!!)
Cleaned up the sprinkles...
Managed to break a side wall while scraping off.... sigh.....
Made some more icing and off I went.

Still looks like a 5 year old decorated it.

List for next year:

• decent icing bag with small nozzles
  
• food colouring so I can do some effects
• decent decorating sweets
• Make my own gingerbread from scratch not a store bought put together one

I mean my last years effort was heaps better! This year it just was a mission! I have been looking at peoples great efforts online and I have to say I am really embarrassed at my attempt!
Next year I shall be victorious!

(That's Markus' Jul stocking hanging up in the background)

I think I have a case of the "bah humbugs"....

Christmas (or Jul as they call it here) is in two days. It's celebrated on the 24th with a nice dinner and presents and stuff.
Markus put up the Christmas lights and the little tree we have a couple of weeks ago.

But I just don't feel it.

I normally love the lights, the snow and the christmassy feel....
Maybe it's because we are broke so we have decided no presents this year. We have hung up our stockings and we went and brought some cheap sweets to go inside.
We will not be going to his family's for Jul as we cannot afford the petrol or even gifts, but have brought his mum something small, which is not yet posted... sigh.....

I know that its not what you do but who your with, so we have decided to have a BBQ on Jul to make Jul something different for the two of us. The neighbours will smell it while they are eating their Jul dinner and probably wonder what the hell is going on! We have some cheese and crackers, some pate, tomatoes a little Jul sausage. Of course some big steaks that we have had in the freezer waiting for the opportunity to come out and sizzle...

I wanted to roast up some potatoes but at this point I've not been able to find fat to roast them in, as any chef will tell you real roast potatoes need fat not oil. And hey, it's only once year!!!!

I'm hoping that the Jul feeling will arrive, but I think it will be like any other day.

I don't want to be like the grinch!

Making Swedish Tunnbröd

I was invited a couple of weeks ago to makes some traditional Swedish tunnbröd in a wood fire oven.

The lady who invited me was someone who I had taught in my English Literature group, so I was delighted and really chuffed that I was invited to come along!

Apologies for t he qualities of the pictures as I forgot my camera so had to reply on my phone talking the snaps!

First she had prepared for us massive amounts of dough. This was ONE of the large tubs that she had prepared. From the large section small balls were divided off.

Then comes the rolling out, gently to try and keep it in a circular shape. There are two rolling pins that you need for this part. The first one has lined grooves. That is the one you use first to roll out the dough to a very thin layer. Once the dough has been rolled out to the right thickness then the second rolling pin is used, the one that looks like it has points all over it. This one puts grooves and tiny holes through the dough.
You use the flat paddle (pictured) to flip the dough over while you are rolling it out as it is very light and fragile.

Then it's important that you use the brush to brush off any loose flour.

Using the paddle you roll it gently onto a large wooden baking paddle and then brush off from the other side any excess flour.

Then it goes into a large wood-fired oven.(No pics sorry!) It takes around a minute or so, while you are turning the dough round so that one edge doesn't get burnt or more heat than the other.

Once it is cooked it goes to another table here you brush off again any excess flour.
(My before shot and someone else's after shot!)
You can see my first one was not round.... did get better I swear!

Then you use a sharp knife through the middle to cut it and fold it in half. It is hard and crunchy!
Then it goes onto the racks until you need to pack it.

We also made another version of this bread where you roll it out slightly thicker so that it stays softish and you can easily fold it.

Best of all it just tastes so much better when you make it yourself!!!! It was an awesome traditional Swedish experience that I absolutely loved doing.

Not sure if I like the costumes or not.....

Penguins wearing Santa Claus outfits stand on a snowy field during a photo call for a promotional event at the Everland amusement park in Yongin, South Korea.

Don't ya love christmas??!!!! :-)

Shattering the myth that all Swedish men are love gods.....I give you "Swedish Santa".

I thought this was hilarious :-)

I would love to know how Swedish companies would react if people here tried to pay off their bills in this ingenious way hehe.....


Below is the complete email conversation that Adelaide man DavidThor Thorne claims he had with a utility company chasing payment of an overdue bill.

From: Jane Gilles
Date: Wednesday 8 Oct 2008 12.19pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Overdue account

Dear David,
Our records indicate that your account is overdue by the amount of $233.95. If you have already made this payment please contact us within the next 7 days to confirm payment has been applied to your account and is no longer outstanding.

Yours sincerely, Jane Gilles


From: David Thorne
Date: Wednesday 8 Oct 2008 12.37pm
To: Jane Gilles
Subject: Re: Overdue account

Dear Jane,
I do not have any money so am sending you this drawing I did of a spider instead. I value the drawing at $233.95 so trust that this settles the matter.

Regards, David.



From: Jane Gilles
Date: Thursday 9 Oct 2008 10.07am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Overdue account

Dear David,
Thank You for contacting us. Unfortunately we are unable to accept drawings as payment and your account remains in arrears of $233.95. Please contact us within the next 7 days to confirm payment has been applied to your account and is no longer outstanding.

Yours sincerely, Jane Gilles


From: David Thorne
Date: Thursday 9 Oct 2008 10.32am
To: Jane Gilles
Subject: Re: Overdue account

Dear Jane,
Can I have my drawing of a spider back then please.

Regards, David.


From: Jane Gilles
Date: Thursday 9 Oct 2008 11.42am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Overdue account

Dear David,
You emailed the drawing to me. Do you want me to email it back to you?

Yours sincerely, Jane Gilles


From: David Thorne
Date: Thursday 9 Oct 2008 11.56am
To: Jane Gilles
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Overdue account

Dear Jane,

Yes please.

Regards, David.


From: Jane Gilles
Date: Thursday 9 Oct 2008 12.14pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Overdue account

Attached
[image=


From: David Thorne
Date: Friday 10 Oct 2008 09.22am
To: Jane Gilles
Subject: Whose spider is that?

Dear Jane, Are you sure this drawing of a spider is the one I sent you? This spider only has seven legs and I do not feel I would have made such an elementary mistake when I drew it.

Regards, David.


From: Jane Gilles
Date: Friday 10 Oct 2008 11.03am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Whose spider is that?

Dear David, Yes it is the same drawing. I copied and pasted it from the email you sent me on the 8th. David your account is still overdue by the amount of $233.95. Please make this payment as soon as possible.

Yours sincerely, Jane Gilles


From: David Thorne
Date: Friday 10 Oct 2008 11.05am
To: Jane Gilles
Subject: Automated Out of Office Response

Thank you for contacting me. I am currently away on leave, travelling through time and will be returning last week.

Regards, David.


From: David Thorne
Date: Friday 10 Oct 2008 11.08am
To: Jane Gilles
Subject: Re: Re: Whose spider is that?

Hello, I am back and have read through your emails and accept that despite missing a leg, that drawing of a spider may indeed be the one I sent you. I realise with hindsight that it is possible you rejected the drawing of a spider due to this obvious limb omission but did not point it out in an effort to avoid hurting my feelings. As such, I am sending you a revised drawing with the correct number of legs as full payment for any amount outstanding. I trust this will bring the matter to a conclusion.

Regards, David.


From: Jane Gilles
Date: Monday 13 Oct 2008 2.51pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Whose spider is that?

Dear David, As I have stated, we do not accept drawings in lei of money for accounts outstanding. We accept cheque, bank cheque, money order or cash. Please make a payment this week to avoid incurring any additional fees.

Yours sincerely, Jane Gilles


From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 13 Oct 2008 3.17pm
To: Jane Gilles
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Whose spider is that?

I understand and will definitely make a payment this week if I remember. As you have not accepted my second drawing as payment, please return the drawing to me as soon as possible. It was silly of me to assume I could provide you with something of completely no value whatsoever, waste your time and then attach such a large amount to it.

Regards, David.


From: Jane Gilles
Date: Tuesday 14 Oct 2008 11.18am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Whose spider is that?

Attached

Boob issues.

Oh how I wish I was small. Give me flat, give me tiny give me small and pert.
You see I have been cursed with a naturally large and cumbersome chest.

I cannot find ANY bras here that are supportive and in my size.
I wear faryform which is an excellent and quality brand and they can withstand the heaving and holding in that is their job every day.

My washing machine (new 1 year old now) likes to eat my bras. It has eaten 5. I have tried bra bags, (but the washing machine ate that too) so I tried inside a pillowcase and it was going fine until it ate the as well. By "ate" I mean the underwire somehow gets stuck into the rubber mould around the window part and then proceeds to rub and wear right through to the wire with the insides (rubber like stuff) spewing forth all through the washing machine. Once this has happened there is no going back they are well and truly dead.

SO

Because I cannot find my size here and I really don’t want to have to go into the whole dilemma with some gorgeous stunning Swedish woman. I decided to order online. And I have done this even from the UK as in the UK the ones I buy as £40 each and for the SAME bra in Australia it is $40 each. So basically under half price when you do the conversion. I have been ordering from this place in OZ for a couple of years. I have even ordered since I have been in Sweden (the last ones that were eaten were about 2 months old... sigh)....

So this time I thought "OK will order 5 so I don’t have to keep paying high postage if it all goes wrong again!"
(Even though I am not reduced to hand washing... boooooooooooooooo)

So imagine my surprise when I got a note saying my parcel had arrived but there was going to be a 441 kronor customs charge.

Now let me do some quick math for you.
The bras cost me 220 AUS dollars which is around 1100 kronor (but to confuse things more it was actually only around £80 because I used my UK cards and the currency exchange was in my favour at the time....)

So I paid £80.
441 kronor is £35 (or using today’s exchange rate in oz dollars $86)

???????????????????????????????????????????????????

My customs charge is nearly 50% of what the products were worth????????
I needed the bras. I was desperate for the bras so could not take the time to quibble so paid up the fee.

But surely this cant be right?
Also the lady who sent them to me put on the package it was a gift. (I don’t know if that helped or not.)

Either way I am out 441 kronor, which when you are broke means less groceries for us now.
But I needed the bras. I CANNOT go without! Last time I ordered 4 and there was no problem so I am gutted that 5 seems to have made a difference.

I wish I had small boobs. I wish that I could go into any underwear place and be able to walk out with a dozen of cool, pretty and funky bras. But I have inherited my mother’s generous ones and have had them from 16. So it’s something I just have to grit my teeth and bear with it.

Customs will be getting a call from me. Because I want to find out for future reference what the limits are and how the charges are figured out.

I would have ordered them from the UK, but no one does international orders for that brand, make and model :-)
Having a boob tax is so unfair!

SWEDBANK YOU SUCK

Yes you do Swedbank, you REALLY REALLY DO.

OK let me start at the beginning of this fine tale of customer service.

When I first arrived here, as soon as I had received my Personal Number, I went off to the bank to apply for an ID. As soon as that arrived I opened an account.

The conversation went as follows.

Me: I don’t have a job and will be using my UK accounts until I find employment. So NO money will be going into the account for an indefinite amount of time. Do you have an account and card that has NO FEES?

Swedbank: YES we do. BUT you cannot use it in shops or online, the only way you can use it is to withdraw cash from at ATM.

Me: That's fine as I need something with NO charges as there will be no money on there.

Swedbank: No problem, here is your account and the card will come in the post.

FAST FORWARD A YEAR AND A FEW MONTHS LATER.......

Me: woooooooo hooooooooooo I have had my first pay from Studieframjändet!!!!!
wooooooooooooooo hoooooooooooooooooo I have had my first pay from the instegsjobb!

So a week and a bit after I was sure I had been paid it was time to break in the Swedbank card and make my FIRST withdrawal of my hard earned Swedish money.

The joy was to be very short lived.
Try about 1 minute or how long it takes to put your card into the ATM put in the pin code and request a balance.

The card appeared on the screen with a big red cross through it.
This card it under investigation said the slip that spewed out.

WHAT THE HELL?????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

On return to the house I found Swedbanks numbers, of course they are all inaccessible on a Sunday, so I rung the stolen card line.

They were able to tell me that my card had been blocked by the bank TWO MONTHS PRIOR.
FOR

NON PAYMENT OF BANK FEES.

AAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

So, firstly, WHY wasn't I informed that the bank had changed its charging/ fee policy on this card?
Secondly WHY wasn’t I informed that my card was gong to be blocked because of non-payment of said fees so that at least I could go into the bank and discuss my options???!!!!!

So on Monday, LUCKILY we finished at the schools before 5pm so I was able to get to the Swedbank nearest to where I live.
When I retold my tale of woe from the weekend, was bluntly asked “SO, What card do you want now then?"

NO APOLOGY
NO EXPLANATION
NO NOTHING

I tell you I am seriously going to look around at the other banks. But as I have given this account as the one for pay, I will wait until those jobs have finished THEN I think I am going to find another hopefully more considerate bank, if they actually exist here!

Instegsjobb Update

This has been the most rewarding and worthwhile thing I have done in over a year now. While SFI managed to suck my creativity dry, working with children has brought it charging back!
The children have been wonderful and very responsive, the schools and daycares have been positive places to be. What a refreshing change from London!

The biggest difference between children from up here and from London, is that when you walk into a school or day-care here, EVERY ONE I have been to have had children playing HAPPILY and cooperatively with each other. No tantrums, tears or unkind behaviour here! Yes I am sure schools have their problems, but they are no where near the levels that you would find in your average school in London.

I have two more weeks to go and I can honestly say that I will be very sad to leave.

While mother tongue teaching happens throughout Sweden, how it happens and how well it happens depends entirely on the kommun in which you live. Umeå has an established base with around 40 teachers teaching a variety of languages to an even wider variety of levels throughout the Kommun.
It runs pretty smoothly and everyone I have met has been friendly, professional and very helpful.
Unfortunately, I cannot comment on specifics due to confidentiality, but for me Umeå seems to be an awesome place to bring up children and they are well looked after and catered for here! I would love to point out specific examples of awesome teaching and environments but you will just have to take my word for it!

This will be one experience I will remember and I hope that if a vacancy ever comes available in the English department they will think of me!

The delights of salty licorice.....

Coming from NZ where you can buy thick long ropes of soft natural licorice (courtesy of the ozzies and Darryl Lee....)I never in a million years ever would have thought that I would take to the whole salty licorice thing that Swedes enjoy here...

The first few times were disgusting as the salt burned my tongue and my taste buds completely rejected the offering in my mouth... if Markus had been eating it I would even try to avoid a smooch as it tasted so bad....

I can't pin down the exact moment... but somewhere along the way I have developed an affection for the black salty stuff.
MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM

Not the stuff that is literally rolled in salt on the outside... but all the other forms of it... oh the bitter deliciousness :-)

The bags of soft black sweets you can get, the little boxes of läkerols...the mildly salty to the slight burn of your tongue salty...

And now if I have the sweet stuff... well it just doesn’t measure up!

Saved by the skin of the teeth....

Today I found out that I will now do one month in the program instegsjob, NOT PRATIK.
Which even though it is only a month... for me or for me and Markus, it means enough money for around 2 months groceries and transport.

Add to the two short courses I am teaching and the two days relief teaching later in Oct/Nov... we might actually be able to make it to Xmas or new year.

So the next month or so is going to be insanely busy juggling everything, but I don't care as this will now help us immensly money wise in the short term.

By the skin of our teeth we are able to hang in there for a few more months!

Persevering Pays Off

My motto of persevering has paid off. I had 3 THREE, yes THREE job interviews from Friday till today.
Two interviews were for the same school, but for different positions...
The original interview was for a teacher's assistant in a Swedish classroom.

I got the second interview by an accident on my part... I received a phone call from the head of a school, who was the one looking for a teaching assistant...... anyhow... the conversation was all in Swedish and I really only grasped bits here and there.... So I thought I had better email her and arrange a one on one as I can understand and speak Swedish a lot better in person...

BUT the school had given me the email of the OTHER head (different parts and stages of the school have different heads... and as I didn't catch her name I didn't question that it was the wrong email.... So I duly sent off an email saying thank you for calling me and as I found it difficult to understand Swedish over the phone could I come in...

Well... the other head... (who turns out to be the person who arranged mother tongue lessons for children in all the schools in Umeå... if there are more than 5 the kommune pays for teachers to go to the school and give so many hours teaching the subjects in their home language.. of course mine is English!)...he calls me and has read my personal letters and the email meant for Eva and then talks on for about 10 minutes how he loves NZ comedy and a show that was shown here made in NZ...that he wants to meet me ASAP for a chat.....

So Friday I went in to meet them both! After a long and interesting chat with the main head (who was really awesome!) he asked me which job I would prefer! Cool! So I chose working in the Mother tongue lessons section as I thought it would be an exciting and varied job.. Now I don't know what is going to happen here... as we are meeting on Wednesday to discuss what he wants me to do. It was suggested in the meeting that I work as an assistant to one of the mother tongue teachers to learn how its done here in Sweden.
Which is wicked! So I will know more after Wednesday!

Today I had a meeting with Folkuniversitetet... if the name sounds familiar its because I went for a job there in June and didn't get it. They emailed me out of the blue asking if I wanted to cover for a teacher who is going away for two weeks.
Awesome! I have 2 full days with various classes of varying levels about 45 minutes out from Umeå. Which will be great not only for the experience, but for the much needed money right now also! She also asked if I would be able to run a business English course as there might be one in the pipeline.. I have lots of good resources so it would be a matter of sorting them and just going for it. So if that goes ahead that would be good also!

Add to the two courses (only 8 weeks two nights per week) that I am teaching at Studiefrämjandet, the one on NZ and the myths and legends course, I am going to be very busy!

I just feel like finally the hard work is paying off... Because I was cutting it super fine money wise...

Fingers crossed for Wednesday that I will actually be employed in the very near future!

Persevering

Its been a hard few weeks. Realising that the money is about finished and still no job has taken a bit of a toll on my usual day to day positive attitude. At home I find myself bordering a bit on the teary side when I think of the situation that is practically on the doorstep. But I am not going to let it stop me in my search for the elusive job.

I start teaching at Studiefrämjandet on wed night, for the next three weeks. The second course I was meant to be teaching has not attracted enough numbers so far.. so I made a poster advertising it and stuck it up around the folk husets and bibliotekets, hopefully enough people will register as that course is for 8 weeks (3 hours per week) and would have been enough pay for our groceries for another month and a half......

More bad news was to follow....
My back up plan of going back to the UK under sponsorship to a school for a term took an unexpected turn when I realised that the UK in November are changing ALL 85 visa sections into a scheme of only 5 and to fill the criteria of one of those 5 are now based on a points system.
I fail on the points system on one section. The money you need to have in your account for the previous 3 months before you apply which is £2800.
I pass with flying colours on everything else. Also the fee has gone from around £90 (that's what I had to pay for all my previous sponsorship visas to a whopping £750 just for applying.

So the shock of realising that I am no longer eligible due to money was a real kick in the teeth.
Especially as I would have had no costs until I had my first pay check (many friends in the UK who will put me up and take care of me until pay day)
So sucko.

On the better side of things I found out this week about a programme called instegsjobb, which I qualify for. It's to help immigrants in Sweden get work. The employer pays 25% of your wage and a government grant pays 75%. I am hoping that this might be the carrot to get my foot in the door somewhere.

Today I am also going to put up posters around the University, targeting international students who need help to proofread their assignments.

So for me, the key word is persevere.
And keep persevering....

UPDATE AND CHANGE TO RECIPE!

While the germal apple cake was pretty great, I thought the next day it was too moist and therefore too much oil... so I have adapted the recipe, cutting out just over 1\3 of the oil and nearly half of the sugar. The result was fantastic... The next time I make it I shall try cutting out a little more of the oil and a little more of the sugar and see if the cake retains the flavour and moistness as it would be better on the waist if I can!

So I have changed the amounts on the recipe already posted :-)

German Apple Cake

2\3 cup vege oil
1 + 1\4 cups sugar
1 teaspoon baking soda
2 cups plain flour
2 eggs
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
2 teaspoons ground cinnamon
4 cups apples- peeled, cored and diced
1/2 teaspoon salt

Instructions:

1. Preheat oven to 175 degrees C. Prepare a pan, I used baking paper in a rectangle pan.
2. In a mixing bowl beat oil and eggs until creamy. Add sugar and vanilla and beat well.
3. Combine flour, salt, baking soda and cinnamon together in a bowl. Slowly add this to the mixture and mix until combined. The batter will be very very thick.
4. Fold in the apples by hand using a large spoon. Spread batter in the prepared pan.
5. Bake at 175 degrees C for 45 minutes or until a tester comes out clean from the centre of the cake.
6. Let it cool on a wire rack.
7. Dust with icing sugar.

I made this cake for a friend coming over for fika and it was fantastic! I will definately make it again, easy and delicious!

How did a month pass me by?????

I didn't realise it had been so long since I had last posted... I guess that's a sign that I have been a bit busy....

We had a christening to go to out of Umeå so that was definately something out of the norm...not really my thing but smiled and pretended I understood what was going on around me....

Got the job for the night courses so will be teaching two, one on NZ and one on reading in English using myths and legends from around the world. So that's good news..

Basically I have started back at SFI and... well it SUCKS. There is no nice way to put it or fancy it up... it really really bites. BUT until I actually have work that brings in enough money so I don't have to go... along I must go. For now.

One issue that I have had these weeks is the fashion statement that is wearing socks and sandles. Where I come from you do not wear sandles to work, so therefore it isn't an issue. Women, yes you can wear sandles to work in the summer but generally men do not. You wear your sandles (I'm talking men here) after work, at home, weekends etc...
Not so here in Sweden.
The reasoning is its too hot for covered shoes... so you wear sandles... but you cant have open shoes like that at work so you wear socks in them...

My partner explained this several times to me... because I fail to get it. I see no difference in wearing "covered/ normal " shoes and the heat difference with wearing socks with your sandles..So why not just wear your normal shoes?????

And the thing is EVERYBODY does it..
I checked out everyone.. from people in the street, to people working in shops, people shopping in the shops. I must be one of the only people in Sweden that actually wore my sandles without socks this summer.
I know I will have fully integrated into Sweden when during the summer I venture out with socks and sandles.

I just can't see it happening anytime soon.

Swedish Walking Poles.....

For a year I have privately mocked the Swedish and their obsession with walking with what looks like ski poles in their hands.
Oh yes... I was surprised by it when I first came over, I mean it looks stupid to the untrained eye... I mean why walk with ski poles and there is not a speck of snow in sight?

Young people, old people, most people out and about walking have the poles attached to their hands.
At first I thought it was to help you keep going... sort of like a walking stick.
But no... it actually gives your body a thorough work out. Now I didn't believe it and have not believed it for all this time.

However over the last month and a bit I have started walking everyday.

Now the first week was hard, going from nothing to something shocked the body no end. Within 3 weeks I had halved the time for the same distance so I began to extend the distance covered so that the walking part was about 40 minutes a day.
Now anyone that knows me will be shocked by this and rightly so as I am the most unfit and exercise avoidant person you would ever have met.

But the walking sticks were advertised this week for a third of what they normally retail at. Cost 99 SEK which is about £8 or so...

SO

Why not I thought... let's give this walking with poles thing a go.
Now as I write this I am exhausted and my body is going to feel it tommorow ( in fact getting up and walking to the next room hurts already tonight..)...

I found it was a lot harder than it looks... oh yes.... you see when you walk you swing your arms and you might swing them with every few steps or so...
With the poles your alternate arm goes out with the opposite leg for every stride.
Oh god.. I was huffing, I was puffing and when I got home my clothes were soaked through.
The same lovely walk out through the forest and down a small country lane, past the horses and the forests full of blueberries (going for a massive picking spree in a couple of weeks when they are all ready!), towards the house that had the cat that followed me last year, past the wild raspberry bushes... the only thing different was the poles.

I will never make fun of how silly the Swedish look when out walking again!
Because it hurts... every muscle in my body tonight confirms that something so simple can actually be really challenging.
And I can't make fun of anyone now for using them because I have joined the walking with poles brigade too.

Coconut cookies

Thought I would share this recipe for coconut cookies that I made recently... enjoy!

• 125 g softened butter (not melted)
• 3/4 cup sugar
• 1 - 2 teaspoons vanilla essence ( I always use loads because I like vanilla)
• 1 egg
• 1 cup plain white flour
• 1 teaspoon baking powder
• about 200g of coconut bits (Again add as much as you want really)
• Extra flour in case the mixture is too wet and doesn't hold.

1. Cream butter, sugar and vanilla together until light and fluffy.
2. Add the egg beating well. (For step one and two I use an hand held electric beater)
3. Sift flour and baking powder together and add to the creamed mixture.
4. Mix in the coconut.
   

I use my hands to mix in really well as the mixture will be quite wet and you want the coconut to be well mixed with the rest of the ingredients.

Roll a heaped teaspoon full into a ball. The mixture will be wet and buttery still, if the ball does not hold then add a little flour until a ball can be formed.

Use all the mixture to roll into balls and place on an oven tray. I use baking paper underneath.
Flatten with a fork, I usually do two "squishes" beside each other.

Bake at 190 degrees celsius for about 12 minutes or until pale golden.
Once out of the oven leave to cool for a couple of minutes before putting them on a wire rack if you have one or as I do (because I can't find a wire rack here!!!) I put them on a wooden chopping board to cool further.

These really are so easy to make and Markus loves them... if you like a crunchy cookie leave them in a minute or two longer, but watch that they don't burn.

If you like an orange or lemon flavour coconut cookie, leave out the vanilla essence and add either orange rind(1 tablespoon) or lemon rind (2 teaspoons) to the creamed mixture.

Enjoy :-)

Best news so far this year....

Some people think it's the little things in life that matter the most... and I agree!

For a year and a half Markus has been on a waiting list for a car park actually by our apartment!
(for me its nearly a year!)
Our car park is on the other side of the complex which is about a 10 minute walk away, which in the spring and summer is fine... However it snows here for 6 months of the year and most mornings that 10 minute walk became 20 as the ice and snow were difficult to walk on to the car park from where I live.
Not to mention walking to the car in snow blizzards and minus 10- minus 15 degree temperatures... then having to de ice and pray the car will start.
(The grumpy looks were lost on Markus as he kept on saying to me that it's never bad weather just bad clothes)
HRPHMPPPPPPPPPPPPP!

So for 6 months during the snow and icy days it was the bane of my mornings as I attempted to get to school.

Hearing today that we finally have a car park close to where we live is such a relief that I won't face the awful winter mornings that I did this winter!

Sometimes the smallest things can make you the happiest!

More good news....

Folkuniversitetet got in touch with me today. I wrote them an email two days ago saying I was still interested etc etc...
I didn't get the 50% job as that went to someone who has specifically an English teaching qualification... however they said they were "delighted" with me and would be sending some work my way in the autumn. They didn't know what or how much yet until after the summer holidays.

Personally I don't care how much as it is a foot in the door! As well as much needed money at this point!
wooooooooooo hooooooooooooooooooooo

I am really excited!

Some good news...

I passed course C at SFI.
Yipppeeeeeeeeeeeeeee...... now only course D and I am finished.
BUT, there is a huge part of me that just can't face going back for more mind numbingly boring stuff. The next part of the course is pretty much reading and reading and reading to build more technical Swedish vocabulary.
So I have decided the only way I am going back is if I don't have any work and my focus once schools go back after summer is going to be to find something!

Which brings me to another opportunity which is hovering...

I applied ages ago to a place who do informal adult education in all sorts of areas from lanugages to hobbies, to teach English. They must have liked my personal/cover letter and my CV as they emailed me yesterday saying that they have to decide by August on what courses are going to be offered after summer. They asked if I could write an outline of some courses I could teach including the content for various stages of English and also if I was interested in doing a course about NZ.

Well I certainly didn't expect to move to Sweden to teach swedes about NZ! Crazy! So I emailed back as I needed some basic information like how long a session is, was there a kitchen (thinking of doing NZ baking for a session, resources (thinking of doing Maori patterns/theme based art)...

She wrote back and her first words were " Oh my god you have such lovely ideas!".
So I think if i can write a few different course outlines then hopefully I will be able to do at least two. Possible the NZ one and one in English.

Now the money is really really bad.. remembering that its basically 3 hours a week for ONE course... BUT here in Sweden its all about contacts, its WHO you know, not WHAT you know that gets you in the work game.
SO...I'm thinking for one, it will be a good addition to my CV and you never know WHO would be in my class.. a cousin, a sister a friend of a school that needs an English teacher maybe...All it takes is a good word from someone and you at least can get to the interview stage.

So I will be spending the next couple of days writing up some outlines and ideas for courses, with the emphasis on fun learning in a group.
And with any luck hopefully I can teach two or more classes a week!
We all have to start somewhere!

All over the show....

I have been here in Sweden now for 11 months.

A few things have been happening lately that are unusual for me.
While I love Sweden and of course my Swedish partner I am feeling despondent and unmotivated most days lately.
Finding a job is no easy task in a "city" of just over 100 000. Way up north where you need to speak good Swedish to get any look in or even an interview.
Demoralised is probably a good word to describe the current situation. The one job that I have interviewed for have been unreachable and keep failing to keep in touch when they say they would.
(And no I still have not rung them but I will tomorrow...)

I have been stressed out with the Swedish exams that I have finally completed today. I have felt sick to my stomach and extremely nervous about these tests as I really really suck at learning the language. It was sort of like a moment of truth time... with the sinking feeling that I was not going to pass. I am not great but not bottom... a sort of floater in the middle....

I will find out on Wednesday whether I managed to reach the 75% pass mark for all sections of the tests or whether I will be made to stay back. For one Thai girl in my class this was her third attempt at the tests.
I have decided that if I don't pass I am not going back. I simply cannot face the same boring and waste of time classes that have been offered already. The teacher for the last three months.... well you know from my previous posts.
So today one of the tests was on Swedish grammar. You would have thought that over the last few weeks that we would have been going over grammar rules and usage..but no.. of course not, that would have been too assumptive. So it's been difficult trying to self study these things when you really have little idea if you are on the right track or not.

So the rose tinted glasses are off.
11 months and not much to show for it.
The Swedish learned so far is not going to get me any type of employment and the savings are now beginning to look critical.

So you can see why in the last little why I have been in turmoil. I love where I am, I love my partner... but I am not so keen on the quality of life that I have compared to what I gave up to come here.
We have never eaten out here.
Never gone to the movies.
One pair of winter shoes have been my only notable purchase in 11 months for myself.
I am missing my friends and travelling.
All of the above need money.

It's sort of like a catch 22 situation...to improve my swedish I need to get out and meet Swedish people in a social setting... to go to a class I would enjoy like art or ceramics all cost money...

I am used to working and have worked all my life until here. Nothing like moving to Sweden to feel completely demoralised when it comes to finding work here. I am used to working hard in order to be able to do the things that make me happy.

The feeling of being down in the dumps will pass.
And I will be taking my CV in person and making appointments with all the high schools and Junior schools that teach English as soon as school starts to go back in August. There must be a job here for me somewhere!

Because once the savings run out for good.
It will be grim.
And it's that reality that I am facing that scares the shite out of me at the moment.

Job Interview Pt 5

OK... I am a little disappointed... annoyed....frustrated.....

It's now THURSDAY... for me that's not the beginning of the week.
I'm at a loss here...
I know I could ring.. BUT I also know how hectic schools and teachers are towards the end of the year... BUT how can I teach a sample lesson if they are going to be closing for the summer soon?

BAH BAH BAH BAH

Again I will leave it until Monday then I shall bite the bullet so to say and call.
It will bring this whole waiting debacle to a head and they will either HAVE to say on the phone yes a lesson is still in the works or NO you are not suitable for the job.

Sucko.

Job Interview Pt 4

Ahhhhhhh the continuing saga of the "Job Interview".

Well I also tried ringing but missed the strange office open hours.. and have been quite despondent as I was sure I had blown it for good.
But there might be a small sliver of hope left as I received an email today, saying sorry for the delay and that they would get in touch early next week.
(It's Sweden's national day tomorrow so everyone has a day off!)

So now I feel hopeful again..(compared to yesterday which was frustration at myself for not being able to present myself in a non flustered professional way!)

Because I know I will not be such a complete moron while actually teaching a lesson! As long as they let me do the sample lesson as they initially said then I think I will be able to win them over.

Fingers crossed.

Would have been a nice birthday present for Saturday though if they had actually sorted out whether I was going to work for them or not!!!!!

Job Interview Pt 3

Still waiting....

My email account has taken a battering these last few days as I have been checking in a million times! So took the plunge and emailed them... to follow up and see what was happening.. only to get the automatic out of office till Monday reply.


Bummer.


So.....

Again I wait.

And wait some more....


Sigh......

Job Intervew Part 2

Phew... went ok really.. apart from the constant stream of BABBLE that would not stop coming from my mouth. OH MY GOD would I just SHUT UP already....I knew I was doing it... but could not actually stop it...surreal!

The good news is that they must have liked something as they indicated that I would receive an email next week to organise a practice lesson.... ie to see if they like my style in a classroom...

ok bring it on... that's what I do best!

panic over...
now I must
wait



and wait




and cross my fingers that they really did like me!

Job Interview

After hearing nothing from my previous work applications... the one I really really REALLY want I have an interview for on Thursday.

I am swinging between

Happiness...

PANIC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Calm....

PANIC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I can do this...

PPPPPPAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNIIIIIIICCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCC!!!!!!

My first interview in Sweden. Getting hair cut back into something with style rather than the haircut my sambo gave me ( its in a straight line, so he did ok...) because I couldn't afford nor justify the expense a couple of months ago...(and so that I don't look too much like the student I have become these last months.. time to pull the professional Roch out of me again!)

ok back to

Butterflies

Panic

Confident

Mild panic....

Who am I kidding.....

Major PANIC AND NERVES...

ok

BREATHE

B R E A T H E

it will be fine...

:-)

Midnight sun is getting closer.....

For the past two weeks the birds have been singing LOUDLY at 4- 4.30 am... I have noticed that at 11pm it's no longer really dark...
There have been a few rough mornings that I have gone to school with blurry eyes and yawns due to lack of sleep...

But this morning I woke up fresh as a daisy, sun shining brightly, ready to get up...

WHEN

I looked at the time.

5.20am.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

This lack of darkness thing is already playing with my internal body clock. And it's not even all the way through the night yet!

BAH!

How much difference does a teacher make?

Another two days off this week from SFI. No notice, just a note on the board both days saying that our teacher was not coming in.

Its truly beyond a joke.

Then on Wednesday I was slightly late to class after dropping off my sambo to his course first.. so I had missed a couple of minutes of what was a heated discussion.
Apparently someone had written on the board that we need a teacher and that there was no school.. or something to that effect.
The frustration is felt by many and actually is a fair comment.
The teacher was very angry.
She is not sick, she is pregnant she stated.

I lost all respect for her really when she stated that we didn't need a teacher to learn and that we should be still doing things ourselves at home anyway.
That even if she wasn't here we could go into the computer room or down to the reading room.
Everyone in my class completes self study and other Swedish based tasks in their own time out of the classroom. What an insult!

Now anyone who has ever been in a school of any kind knows that a teacher can make or break your learning experience.
A bad teacher can impair your learning, leaving you feeling worthless and stupid.
A good teacher can motivate and challenge you to WANT to learn and achieve.

Her lack of consideration, respect or even empathy for anyone, some who take two buses each way and an hours travel to get to school, to others who are spending huge amounts of petrol to drive there.
I can imagine someone who is naturally talented at learning languages could teach themselves to a reasonable level.
However, the majority of us normal ordinary folk actually need direction, explanations and guidance to understand grammatical rules and reasons!
I understand that the blame cannot be laid entirely at her feet. But there are two culprits here... the school and the teacher. Both who do not have any care for the students that they are supposed to cater for.

The school has a responsibility to make sure that there is a teacher in front of a class of students who make the effort to come at cost to themselves regardless of minus temperatures etc (like we had all winter) and the teacher has a responsibility to be honest about her capabilities at the moment and to stop playing the system, and playing the school. On average 2 days a week off when we have half days is ridiculous at best.
The school needs to actually confront this problem and admit that turning up 3 days maximum a week and to never have turned up for a full week yet is not acceptable and would not be acceptable in any workplace I would have thought.
Maybe here in Sweden it is?
Or is it just a lack of care because we are all immigrants?

Either way this school and some of its staff are a disgrace to the educational professionals who do a great job!

SFI... again.... and job hunting... sigh....

Today it was announced during class when we shall have our end of C course test in order to see if we have the level required to pass onto the D course.
Fair enough, it's towards the end of June so plenty of notice.

HOWEVER

Our teacher is pregnant. Now I have nothing against this fact that she is pregnant and is having a difficult time with morning sickness. What I do have a problem with, is that the school has made no effort nor attempts to fill in for her when she has been away.

Which has been on average twice a week or so for just over the last two months. During this time we have also had end of month self study days, public holidays, school closed for teacher training days.. oh and token guest speakers who are student doctors obviously completing some "give something back to the community" component of their course.

In the last two months there has not been ONE WHOLE WEEK of teaching.
The times that she has been sick the class have turned up to school ready for an 8.30 start to find another teacher handing out a worksheet (around 1/2 hours worth of work for the day) and telling us to take it home to do.
If a class full of students can make the effort to take various buses etc to come to school then there should be a teacher present!
It has become incredibly frustrating.
I don't understand how they expect our class to pass anything when we have had little to no teaching at all.. I for one have no idea even what the test might involve as when we do have a teacher we have pretty much done a little bit of reading and answered some questions... and that's it.

My main question is WHY does the school not have a supply teacher in hand who is wanting to earn a little extra here and there when teachers are sick? Class doesn't start until 8.30... so if the teacher knows they are not coming in they should ring the head early in the morning for arrangements to take place.
It just makes a mockery of the students who are willing, enthusiastic and eager to learn.
AAAAAARRRRRRGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Job hunting... I liken it to hunting an elusive rare bird or animal..
You might have heard about these things called "jobs", you even see these elusive and rare things advertised...
But it's almost like a secret society that you have to be invited into by someone in the know!
In my whole life, from odd jobs throughout university to the teaching positions I have applied for in 12 years of teaching, there have only been 2 times in my whole life that I didn't get the job. Got to the interview, but didn't get it. TWICE. That's all.
So it comes as a huge blow to the confidence when you are trying to break into this rare breed of "working people", (who have managed to crack the code of actually even getting to interview stage), when all I seem to get is an email saying "thanks for your CV".
And that's it.
So far I have not heard back from anyone I have applied to.
Weird...Not even a thank you, but unfortunately email....
Ok...I spent the weekend re working the CV a bit as the Swedish don't like anyone who boasts about how great they are...(isn't that the point of a great CV????)

Now the latest position I applied for I have more than enough experience and qualifications. In fact it's my perfect job for me at the moment. (Part time allowing me to flexi study Swedish!)
If I can't even get to the interview stage then I really don't know what else to do.
It's just really demoralising!
But chin up and keep persevering is my attitude... something will come along.. and the ones that didn't reply.. well... you missed out on a great English teacher!

:-)

Varlborgsmässoafton : April 30th 2008

April 30 is the day that Swedes traditionally build and burn huge bonfires around the country to welcome in the spring.

The tradition dates back to a Germans King's daughter, Valborg, who created this festival to welcome in the 1st of May back in 779. She had a saints name declared on the 1st of May.

Traditionally special songs are sung like "Vintern rasat", "Sköna maj välkommen" and " Vårvindar friska", all which I had the pleasure of hearing being sung by the Umeå University Choirs last night.
The atmosphere was great and there was a true buzz in the air as everyone enjoyed the market and live music waiting for the choir to begin, leading up to the burning of the bonfire.
All ages were there, families, friends, students, possibly around half of Umeå I would suspect!



Once lit, the dry branches and bramble quickly flared into very high flames. The heat was intense and as the fire grew everyone had to keep stepping back.
There was a light wind which at times made it look as if the fire would become unstable... it began to burn the dried grass surroundings and I for one was a little worried about the whole fire safety issue... especially as it would spark and flare with small cinders flying through the air onto your hair and clothes...
But the swedes would just give a quick pat and put out any potential flames....



Today being the 1st of May, there will be many political speeches throughout most Swedish towns and cities.

For me? I will be at home where it's 26 degrees on my balcony enjoying a little salty licorice bought from last nights market.

Nydala Lake : Thawing

Cab.... innit????

This story from the UK made me laugh out loud yesterday...
You have to understand today's "youf" culture to understand how cool they think they are by speaking this way... It could be a comedy sketch straight out of the Catherine Tate Show...

‘Cab, innit’ gets girl a cabinet

By ANDREW PARKER

A TEENAGER called directory inquiries to book a taxi but ended up having a cabinet delivered – because she asked for a “cab, innit”.

The 19-year-old Londoner wanted a taxi to take her from her home to Bristol airport, and first asked for the number using the Cockney rhyming slang “Joe Baxi”.

When the baffled operator told her she could not find anyone listed by that name, the teen snapped back: “It ain’t a person, it’s a cab, innit.”

The operator then found the nearest cabinet shop, Displaysense, and put the girl through.

She then spoke to an equally bemused saleswoman and eventually fumed: “Look love, how hard is it? All I want is your cheapest cab, innit.

I need it for 10am. How much is it?”

The sales adviser said it would be £180 and the girl gave her address and paid with a credit card.

The next morning, the company delivered an office cabinet to her home in South London.

The girl then called back in a fury and Displaysense finally realised the mistake.

The firm, of Bishop’s Stortford, Herts, has now apologised and refunded her cash after the mix-up two weeks ago.

Marketing manager Steve Whittle said yesterday: “We thought it was a joke at first but the girl was absolutely livid.

“We have suggested that maybe she should speak a bit clearer on the phone.”

MMMMMMMMMMM CHOCOLATE EASTER EGGS

Today has been AWESOME!
Why?
Because Fiona at SFI, fantastic Irish lass brought me a CADBURY CREME EGG to school when she heard that I was gutted that there were none in Sweden.

FIONA TACK TACK TACK TACK TACK TACK TACK!!!!!!!!!

Now... how long can I make it last...
First the top off... then lick out all the creamy goodness... then eat the chocolate outside last I reckon...

mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
Will be kind though and show Markus and maybe let him have a wee nibble...

RANT...

I need a two minute rant.. then it will be over and I can chill out...

SFI classes. (Swedish for Immigrants) AAAAAAARRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
This week was my first week in the next level class. Cool.
EXCEPT, the teacher is away sick so we have two classes combined.
Ours and a class which is a level lower than ours.
Yesterday was only just bearable.
TODAY... I had a minor hissy at some people in my class.

I am not one to have random fits of said hissy.. BUT

FOR CRYING OUT LOUD
WHEN is it ever OK to
SHOUT across a room to other people
LAUGH continuously, because you are not doing ANY work and disrupt everyone around who is
TALKING ARABIC continuously over the teacher, over your classmates and never actually listen to what is going on..
Then have the nerve to ASK the teacher to talk LOUDER because you cant hear her over you and your mates talking all the time...
Have your mobile phone going off during class time.

Seriously, these ADULT MEN are children. They are not there to learn, they really don't care and then complain and moan when they are failing tests, not able to finish easy work and don't move up a group.

We are a mix of people who have moved here because we have a Swedish partner/ and or family, refugees, asylum seekers etc...
But the ongoing theme so far throughout my 5 months now in class is that everyone from all different nationalities from all corners of the world, can behave like mature adults in class EXCEPT men from the middle east.
Racist?NO
Fact? YES
Its beyond a joke. My learning is being disrupted and I am seriously pissed off.

The new teacher isn't really doing anything about it. In fact my last teacher was excellent at being authoritative and asserting that THIS IS A SWEDISH LANGUAGE COURSE and that certain behaviour was expected in class.
LIKE LISTENING and not behaving like a 5 year old who has just eaten a bag full of blue smarties.

OK rant over.
Can't promise that I will not lose my temper tomorrow with the idiots in class if they continue to be so inconsiderate of others.

NO EASTER EGGS.... (sob sob!)

OK I would have to say I have been a bit slow on the uptake... but I have only just found out that you cant get easter eggs, like the big hollow chocolate ones or creme eggs or basically any yummy Easter egg that you would normally have in the UK, NZ or OZ.

This will be the first Easter in 34 years that I have not had a chocolate offering past my lips...

The Swedish have these PAPER/CARDBOARD hollow eggs.. and yes they are pretty but its NOT CHOCLOATE.
What you do is then fill these eggs will candy.
NOPE.... DOESNT CUT IT!

I long for a caramel creme egg... mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
I just didn't realise... having no job and no money meant that I was going to get some after Easter when they are usually half price... but there are none to get.

It's just not right.
This is one Swedish tradition that I don't like.
GIVE ME CHOCOLATE!!!!!

Missing Irishman In Stockholm CAN YOU READ AND PASS ON

Please read this if you live in Sweden, Stockholm, EU...
We are trying to find this person.
Many thanks, Rochelle

Irish tourist missing in Stockholm

Published: 18 Mar 08 20:40 CET
Online: http://www.thelocal.se/10566/

Police in Stockholm are looking into the disappearance of a 32-year-old Irish man, who was last seen leaving a restaurant in the city on Saturday night.

• Search continues for missing Irish tourist (20 Mar 08)

John Aherne came to Sweden to celebrate St. Patrick's weekend with his close friend Karl Lambert.

"I've called everybody I can think of: police, hospitals and the Irish Embassy. But I'm drawing blanks," said Lambert.

The two men went out with friends on Saturday night and had a few drinks together at a city centre pub.

When Aherne decided he was ready to go home, Lambert stayed behind and gave his friend a set of spare keys.

"He stopped off at a restaurant on the ground floor of the apartment building," said Lambert, who has spoken to staff at the Orion restaurant on Katarina Bangata in the south of the city.

Aherne had a drink at the restaurant. Leaving his coat on a chair and his phone on the bar, he went outside. He has not been seen since.

"He told a guy in the bar he was just going out for a smoke and would be back in a minute," said Lambert.

Police in Stockholm said they were looking into the matter.

"He's still missing. We have issued a description of him and we've been in touch with his family," said police spokeswoman Jackie Moberg.

Aherne, who is an accountant, was due to leave Sweden on Monday morning but his passport is still at his friend's apartment.

"His bank card hasn't been used since Saturday night," said Lambert.

Members of Aherne's family said they were considering coming to Sweden on Tuesday in order to be closer to the investigation.

The family have also been in contact with Aherne's girlfriend, who is currently in San Francisco.

John Aherne is described by his family as being around 1.77m (5'10'') tall, weighing 79 kilos (12.5 stone), with black hair and brown eyes.

He was wearing blue jeans and a blue and white striped shirt under a light yellow wool jumper at the time of his disappearance.

Anyone with information relevant to the case is advised to call the police at 114 14.

Paul O'Mahony (paul.omahony@thelocal.se/08 656 6513)

Cultural Differences

The world would most definitely be a boring place if we were all the same and held the same views.

But going to SFI classes over the last couple of days has left me with a feeling of disgust and something I can't quite describe....for me I cannot feel the same towards some people in my class...

The reason?

Well we were put into groups to discuss how a wedding goes in our homeland. Simple enough...
The discussion progressed into things like who pays for the wedding, traditions, food etc.. then into the minefield of do you marry for love or do your families choose etc...

I was in a group with a girl from Thailand and two men from Iran.
The men from Iran showed absolutely no respect for women whatsoever, saying that the woman had to do what they said.. that the woman could not choose who she wanted to marry and if the woman did anything that the man didn't like then they could hit her.

Then they laughed about it. And even acted it out... imitating to punch themselves in the face and slap over the face.

I felt sick.

They were amazed to learn that in NZ you marry because you love someone. Your family doesn't pick out a girl for you. That its NOT OK to hit your wife. That as a wife you can still go out with your friends (shock and horror on their faces) and even have friends that were male.

When I asked them why a wife in their country could not go out with friends or even TALK to another man, their reason was that she was probably thinking to sleep with him.
They could not understand the concept of TRUST and LOVE and actually having friends of both gender.

My understanding from talking to them, and from listening to other males from the middle east in my class is that women are property. They have no rights and if they think for themselves they can most likely be beaten.. because hey.. it's OK to do that.

Today the theme carried on with the introduction of the Swedish term for jealousy and whether it was good or bad etc...

Again, the men were extremely jealous. It came down to losing control of their partner. They had to know what she was doing, who she was with every minute. There seems to be a distinct lack of love and trust here.

I very assertively stated that
I AM NO MANS PROPERTY
I AM AN INDIVIDIAL WHO IS INDEPENDENT
I WILL ALLOW NO ONE TO CONTROL ME

I will NOT give up my rights and independence to someone who is insecure and jealous and controls my life and who will beat me if I step out of line, (in his mind).

The two men from Iraq who were at my table today were taken aback.
They kept on saying it was OK to control their partner SOMETIMES..
My answer to that.. NEVER is it OK.

The Somalian lady at my table said that if her partner said that she could not meet her friends that were male (even if she had known them BEFORE her partner).. she would STOP seeing them if it upset her partner and if he told her to stop.

Dump all of your friends because your partner said so?????

My answer to that was.. if a man did that to me then I would be running as fast as I could in the other direction.
There is no respect for each other.. only control and dominance.
Where is the trust, where is the love?

I feel like I have lost respect for so many in my class after the discussions of these recent days..
I understand that our cultures are different.
But you only have one life.
And I will not spend mine being subservient, treated like a second rate baby factory, with a few beatings thrown in for fun should I not do what my husband says.

I am moving up a class after Easter.

Can't wait.

Swedish Prepositions... it enough to make your brain bleed...

Prepositions are essential in any language as they tell you where things are or in what direction...
But Swedish prepositions are in a world of their own.
You have the basic ones that are easy, like (in English) front, back, over, under, through, between... you get the idea...

Then there are the two Swedish prepositions called på and the other equally as lovely one called i.

The main problem is that there are around 100 rules for the use of prepositions. YES 100!!!!
Even Swedish people get mixed up sometimes..

for example you watch TV...
Jag tittar på TV... (you watch ON TV)

You talk on the phone....NO!!!!
Jag pratar i telefon....

You can sit ON a stool but you can't sit on a couch you must sit IN a couch!!!

Jag sitter på stolen.
Jag sitter i soffan.
AAAAAAARGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
How can you sit IN a couch??

There are many examples like these that the way I am used to knowing them in English just doesn't apply when it comes to Swedish.

The Swedish word på has a lot of its own rules and can have various meanings depending on how you use it.

I know they will hopefully eventually make sense.. and a lot do... but these two prepositions in particular are giving me serious brain strain. Who would have thought that out of all the grammatical aspects that you learn when learning a new language that THIS would be the one to trip me up.
Unfortunately for me I have a test on Monday about them...
BAH!

Hold Thumbs....

When you are really wishing for something to happen or to go your way, you might say "fingers crossed".

Here in Sweden they say "Håll tummarna!".... Meaning hold your thumbs....

You say this and tuck your thumbs inside your hands... weird but true!

What Happens When Goats Get Scared

Excellent! And its all true... hilarious...

Homemade Swedish Blueberry Jam

We opened a jar of Markus' mums home made blueberry jam.
Picked from the northern Swedish forests and made into heaven in a jar.

mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

Words cannot describe how delicious this was..... ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Hur lång är du?

Where I come from you call a vertical measurement a height measurement.
For example...
How tall are you? When you are measuring how tall you are you are measuring your height.

When you are measuring length you are measuring a distance between two points that are horizontal.... well that is until you get to Sweden.

When you discuss your height here, you are talking about how long you are.
Markus is 6 ft 4... so Markus is long.....hmmmmmmmmmm

Still feels a bit "weird" asking people how "long" they are.... leaves yourself way open for misinterpretation....
especially if they are not Swedish (hehe......)

Apparently I dream in swedish??!!!!!

This morning there was a bottle of water beside the bed. The thing is I don't really recall how it got there.... Markus, however filled me in..

In my sleep I asked for a bottle of water.. the first time in English and then when he asked me what I wanted I replied in Swedish!

I struggle to speak in Swedish when I'm awake yet I can answer a question in Swedish in my sleep????????

Cool! Shame I don't remember doing it....

Misconceptions about Sweden...

The biggest misconception about Sweden is about how "liberal" they all are.
a few years back while on holiday on a remote island in Greece I met my first Swedish person. Or should I say couple.. who very openly "came on" to me and my partner at the time.
I didn't realise at first, being someone who has travelled quite a bit, I thought they were just being friendly and up for a chat... However after the numerous requests for drinks in their room (they had a CD player for music as an enticement) and then one evening waiting up, sitting outside by the corner of our apartment room, with drinks... did it finally really dawn on me. Now this couple were in their 60's, you just don't expect it. But they blocked our way and they kept on "looking" and even touching our arms etc while talking... put it this way.... it then became very obvious.... lucky (or unlucky???) I had gotten really sun burnt that day so we were able to eventually (hour and half later of uncomfortable dodging) get past into our room.

So this perpetuated the myth about liberal naked Swedish culture.....

Move forward a few years and I am here living in Sweden.
Swedish are not liberal. Bound and regulated to within an inch of their lives they do not question the rules that are unspoken but adhered to by all.
Naked? Only in the nudie run to the shower...
Alcohol is heavily regulated, government owned and run. Only one government owned store to buy from where the prices are ridiculously high. Same with the ONE pharmacy they have here.
Swedish are polite and reserved can be mistaken for standoffish and rude. It can be hard to make Swedish friends as they don't really welcome strangers (insert foreigners and immigrants here) easily into their little clique.

They are lovely in their own way... but liberal... nah!

Melting snow... don't be fooled....

I would have assumed that living this close to the arctic circle that once it snowed and snowed heavily that the snow would stay... being usually under 0 degrees..... but this year there seems to be a sort of cycle where it's friggin freezing with lots of snow.. then over a few days a week or two later it starts to thaw...

Even though it has ranged from -6 to 0 the last few days the snow is once again disappearing.. the sun is out, its a beautiful day. Then just when you think maybe that's it for the snow... over night or in a few hours a massive dumping of the white stuff once again hits us.

Markus says its the warmest winter they have had up here... just an observation really...

Also I have noticed that I have really acclimatised when I think that +1 is quite warm out... hmmmm.... almost shorts and t shirt weather surely?

Why can't learning a language be as easy as buying a chip or memory card to insert???

Some people have a natural ability to learn a new language... Unfortunately for me, this is not the case... I can say that Swedish is easier to learn than the two attempts had at learning Italian...

I have developed the "reindeer in the headlights" syndrome. While my reading and writing are progressing well, my listening and understanding, as well as talking, are poor.
The SFI class will be going along nicely, when I will get called on to answer a question. Up until that exact moment I HAD been understanding what my teacher or the class were talking about...cue question from the teacher and IMMEDIATELY- Reindeer in the Headlights Syndrome.

My brain is scrambled, my mouth is dry, words come out jumbled. SIMPLE sentences, words, things that I KNOW I KNOW refuse to come out. In fact if I recall, there might have been the sound of tumbleweeds rolling in the wind.....

Sigh.

I feel like an idiot!

This week, the teacher has also displayed amazing psychic ability to call on me to answer a question from whatever exercise we may be doing....which has been the ONLY question that I didn't understand.

Double sigh.

Hopefully this syndrome is only a temporary phase!

-16

-16 could be so much fun... but not if you're trying to get to class in the morning...
The central locking decided to completely freeze up... After around about 30 minutes of trying to get into the car I had to call Markus to come down to the car park and help me out... Using a blow dryer hooked into the car warmer pole thing we attempted to use hot air to defrost. Nope. An hour later still standing in the freezing cold I was no further closer to getting to class. My hair which had still been wet when I had left the house was now white and crispy as it had iced up...I could not feel my legs or my face...water that we had melted with the hair dryer was freezing pretty much instantly as it dribbled down the car into icicles. Markus has managed to get into the car this afternoon.... through luck really as one side of the central locking still won't open...Thankfully there is no school tommorow... so I can have a day to blow dry the car warm hehe... hopefully it either stays super cold so that no water gets into the lock... or actually reaches plus temperatures so that it all melts and I can open the door...

-16.... bring me snow but leave the ice!

Hairy Snow

One of the special things that Swedish people can do is recognise about 20 or more different types of snow. Yesterday I saw "Hairy Snow"... ok that's my term for it..

The snow looked like the fur of a very furry polar bear. It twinkled like crystals in the sun and when you picked it up it crackled like rice puffs in milk... Even the snow that landed on my car was hairy...so my favourite snow I have now decided is of the "hairy" kind. Wish I had taken a picture... but today it's all gone. Storms and snow are in a frantic flurry today..it's always a worry when you see snow flying sideways past your window.

You know you've been in Sweden too long when

1. It's acceptable to eat lunch at 11.00. True, am usually starving by then and continually looking at the clock until my course breaks for lunch.
2. You think Leif 'Loket' Olsson is entertaining. Nope
3. You rummage through your plastic bag collection to see which ones you should keep to take to the store and which can be sacrificed to garbage. (Blush..maybe true)
4. You associate pea soup with Thursday. Ick
5. The first thing you do on entering a bank/post office/pharmacy etc. is look for the queue number machine. (Sigh...very true... learned the hard way when I kept on forgetting then people who had come in after me would get to go before me...)
6. You accept that you will have to queue to take a queue number. (I do NOW)
7. A sharp intake of breath has become part of your vocabulary, as has the sound 'ahh'. (Well it takes a second to think about what I'm going to say in Swedish....)
8. You associate Friday afternoon with a trip to system bologet. Nope
9. You think nothing of paying £30 for a bottle of 'cheap' spirits at system bolaget. ( Was so shocked by prices when I first went in there that trips back have been few and far between)
10. Silence is fun. (Swedes are just a bit serious... that's all.... )
11. Your native language has seriously deteriorated; you begin to "eat medicine" and "hire videos". ( This is true. I have started speaking Swenglish... not on purpose either!)
12. Your front door step is beginning to resemble a shoe shop. (It annoyed me at first... but hey when your shoes are covered in snow... it makes sense to leave them just inside the door....)
13. When a stranger on the street smiles at you, you assume that:
    a. he is drunk;
    b. he is insane;
    c. he is American;
    d. he is all of the above. (Oh no..... I probably by now have heaps of Swedish thinking I am all of these... I am usually that stranger hehe)
14. You stay home on Saturday night to watch Bingolotto. (Ok.. NOT bingolotto but the swedes do have some really funny shows... did I say that out aloud????
15. The reason you take the ferry to Finland is:
    a. duty free vodka
    b. duty free beer
    c. to party (Have looked into tickets.. but no work means not much play... boooooo)
16. The only reason for getting off the boat in Helsinki is to eat pizza. (I have heard this....)
17. It no longer seems excessive to spend £100 on alcohol in a single night. (Crazy swedish....)
18. The fact that all of the "v's" and the "w's" are together in the phone directory seems right. (Same as in the dictionary... still can't find words I am looking for...HOW can this make sense??????)
19. You care who wins 'Expedition: Robinson'. (Actually it was Stockholm Top Model... very disappointing indeed...boooooooooo she was SOOOOO not as good as the others....)
20. Your old habit of being "fashionably late" is no longer acceptable. You are always on time. (Absolut!)
21. You no longer see any problem wearing socks with sandals. (Hey the teacher at Swedish school wears them with STYLE...)
22. You know that "religious holiday" means "let's get pissed." (hmmmm I never really know what the holidays are for but there are heaps more than in the UK anyway...)
23. You are no longer scared of volvos and volvo drivers. (I dream of a sturdy volvo for my next car...perfect for winter conditions...)
24. You have your own innebandy club. (I know people who play... does that count?)
25. You enjoy the taste of surströmming. (Markus loves it but it is banned from eating in apartments as it stinks out the apartments for about a week.. (stinky fish for those that don't know)... so the only time you can eat it is outside in summer. I have yet to experience this Swedish taste sensation)....(shudder.......)
26. You find yourself debating the politics of Carl Bildt. (No, but Swedish politics are a contradiction in themselves.. it seems that anyone in power here is completely corrupt and they seem to all be getting found over these recent months.... One rule for the people... one rule for the politicians...)
27. You use mmmm as a conversation filler. (My teacher does this... it’s like a really loud hummm..strange...)
28. An outside temperature of 9 degrees Celsius is mild. (Positively summer!!!!! Walked 10 mins to my car in a snow blizzard today with snow up to my calves....felt like I was trekking Mt Everest.. So 9 degrees means gets the shorts and t shirts out!)
29. When someone asks for "three cheers", you say "hoorah, hoorah, hoorah, hoorah". (Apparently they are not very good at counting...)
30. You eat jam with savoury dishes. (Markus does and he makes me taste it... so guilty by association....)
31. You have only two facial expressions, smiling or blank. (No only during class, when my eyes start glazing over and I really have no idea what the teacher is saying...)
32. You wear shorts and t-shirt when it's barely 10 degrees in July - because it's July. (Did you not read number 29????)
33. You get extremely annoyed when the bus is two minutes late. (True... started driving everywhere... but you can actually pretty much set your watch to the buses in Umeå)
34. You think women are more than equal than men and deserve to have better positions in the work place. (No... but there are some seriously scary dominant women here....)
35. When a stranger asks you a question in the streets, you think it's normal to just keep walking, saying nothing. (I don't. but it can be hard to approach someone to ask them for help... they actually do keep on walking in most cases...)
36. You've been engaged for four years and don't have any plans to get married. (B.R.O.K.E.. or in Swedish inga pengar)
37. You wear a dress or skirt over your trousers and combine them with training shoes. [this is especially problematic if you're male] (See I was Swedish BEFORE I even came here!)
38. You jot down 'fisk fingrar' on your shopping list. (Yep, I try to write my shopping list in Swedish)
39. You no longer look for Vegemite on supermarket shelves, even if it's your first time in that particular store. (I still look in hope... I heard it was in some shops. Maybe only in Stockholm)
40. You think black rimmed glasses are cool. (Hehe)
41. Your wardrobe now consists of 20 different shades of black and grey. (I am definitely Swedish)
42. You eat unlimited amounts of sausage products without worrying about your nitrate intake. (mmmmmmmmmmmmmm SAUSAGE need I say more???)
43. You actually care if your mobile phone meets the fashion standard - and so do your new Swedish friends! (I got a new one when I got here... but it was because I needed it... really I did....)
44. Paying £5 for a cup of coffee seems reasonable. (Boooooooo never... anyway I drink Chai...)
45. You start to think that having a sauna in the nude with a bunch of strangers is a necessary part of daily life ... and a necessary part of business. (Sweet jesus, I pray to god I never have to inflict that atrocity on any living person... ever)
46. You believe that when you finally win your Nobel Prize, it is best to be modest and say "Oh really, it was nothing!" (You know it.. maybe in a couple of years!
47. Seeing a young woman with lit candles stuck to her head no longer disturbs you. (I was worried about the wax getting in her hair... but the head was covered... the songs were all in Swedish and it was a lovely way to see how the Swedish celebrate jul)
48. You become extremely skilled at assembling pre-packaged furniture kits. (Damn you IKEA.. it took us 5 hours... yes 5 hours to assemble our bed frame. But dammit IKEA you have the best furniture ads on tv... I have a love/hate relationship with you... thank goodness you are not in my town...)

Any Donations? Someone must have a spare £100 000 :-)

Out of this world: Branson offers £100,000 ticket to the heart of a space spectacle

Flights launched in Arctic will be first to take people inside the northern lights

It looks like a cut-price version of the set of a Bond movie. Blocky, 60s-style white consoles face a large wall-mounted video screen, each covered in dials and buttons with words like "pump on", "fire" and "liftoff" written on them. Only the slightly shabby appearance of the place and the metre-high inflatable rocket in the corner indicate that this is not the home of cat-stroking villains but a place of academic study.

The operations room of the Esrange space centre near Kiruna in the far north of Sweden is one of a handful of places in the world that perform space launches. The facility, 200 kilometres north of the Arctic circle, is used by the European Space Agency and others to launch rockets and balloons for studying the upper atmosphere and the effects of microgravity. It also serves as a monitoring station for numerous satellites that orbit between the north and south poles.

In three years, if all goes to plan, Esrange will act as mission control for the European outpost of Sir Richard Branson's Virgin Galactic.

The company hopes to begin commercial space flights from a purpose-built spaceport in New Mexico in 2010, but flights from Kiruna should follow soon afterwards. Once they are up and running, Virgin Galactic expects to be flying about 5,000 passengers a year.

Sweden offers one important advantage over the US, though. Passengers paying $200,000 (about £100,000) a ticket for the two-hour flight will be able to fly into the aurora borealis - the northern lights - something that no human has done before.

The idea was the brainchild of Will Whitehorn, Sir Richard's right-hand man and president of Virgin Galactic. "When I asked the question 18 months ago, 'what about flying into [the northern lights]?' everybody said, 'possible, but we don't know what the view would look like'," he said.

Scientists at Esrange have been flying rockets into the aurora since the 1960s, but no one has put a camera on board before, let alone a person, because it was of no scientific interest.

The mysterious shimmering curtains of coloured light that fill the night sky in winter are caused by charged particles in the solar wind. Esrange and the nearby Swedish Institute of Space Physics have studied the lights for decades and Dr Olle Norberg, Esrange's director, is convinced that it will be safe to fly into their midst.

"Is there a build-up of charge on the spacecraft? What is the radiation dose that you would receive? Those studies came out saying it is safe to do this," he said. Esrange scientists plan to launch a rocket in November with three cameras on board to find out what being inside the aurora actually looks like.

Kiruna is already marketing itself as Virgin Galactic's European spaceport. The location is attractive because Esrange has all the facilities for preparing launches. Kiruna's airport also has a long enough runway to accommodate the Virgin Galactic craft, and passengers can stay at Kiruna's famously opulent ice hotel - the first in the world.

SpaceShipTwo, the successor to the spacecraft which won the $10m Ansari X-prize competition in 2004 to design a commercial spaceship, will hold six passengers and two pilots. The craft will be carried by a specially designed plane called Whiteknight 2 up to a height of 15 kilometres. The spaceship will then detach and fire its rocket motor for a five to six-minute rollercoaster flight up to 110 kilometres. The edge of space is 100 kilometres.

Passengers will be able to leave their seats for five minutes of weightlessness and a stunning view of the curvature of the Earth before the 20-minute re-entry flight, during which they are subject to a force of 6Gs. The first passenger flight, probably in 2009, will carry Sir Richard, his parents and his children Sam and Holly, with Burt Rutan, the man who designed SpaceShipTwo. At the beginning of this month Sir Richard and his son completed training at Nastar in Philadelphia, a facility which trains astronauts and fighter jet pilots.

"The sensation is extreme on your body. You have an equivalent body weight of 2,200 pounds," said Whitehorn. "You go through a medical process to make sure your body looks like it's capable of pulling six or seven Gs for a sustained period of time."

About 100 of Virgin Galactic's "founders", people who have already paid up for one of the first flights, competed the training at the same time, including James Lovelock, the scientist who came up with the Gaia hypothesis. At 88 he is the oldest person to have been in Nastar's centrifuge.

The aurora

The aurora borealis and its southern equivalent, the aurora australis, are named after the Roman goddess of the dawn, Aurora. They are caused by the collision of charged particles in the solar wind with atoms and molecules in the upper atmosphere. The Earth's magnetic field protects the planet from the worst effects of the solar wind, but magnetic field lines converging on the poles channel charged particles into the atmosphere. Their collisions with other particles in the atmosphere between 100 and 300 kilometres up release energy as light. Auroras can only be seen on dark, cloudless nights. A common misconception is that they are more likely on colder nights. In fact, temperature makes no difference.

Vårat Pepparkakshus!

It is Swedish tradition to make a gingerbread house at Jul, so we made our own! I managed to break a wall before we even started but Markus was able to ice it back together from the inside....
It may look like Markus is doing all the work.. but it was a team effort!

We even put our Jul lights up, ( and yes they are icicles!), and have secretly filled each others stockings!

Weird thing is, because it has been +1 to +3 over the past 4 days, the snow has all but melted.
Seriously! How can it go from -11 to seems like spring time in a matter of days... not to be fooled though as it can snow overnight and drop suddenly. We will be having a white Jul in Norsjö Wooooooooooooo Hooooooooooooo!

-11 degrees my friends....-11

Enough said. The winter really begins.

WOOOO HOOOOOO finally the Northern Lights!!!!

Yipppppppppppppeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee we caught them tonight!!!!

I love snow but am OVER the ice.

My 20 year old car has decided that ice is not its friend. So ice is now not a friend of mine either.
You can wipe snow off... but ice... aaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Missed all my classes today as the central locking in said car decided to freeze over and not cooperate with actually opening... or I should say it opened but automatically re locked immediately. SIGH!!!! After around 50 mins I managed to open doors but then found that the doors just "banged" the locking mechanism would not re clasp so the doors would shut. I ended up having to tie the door to the seat belt...and drive to the apartment to get Markus to help me out... but now i have missed my first class... We finally managed to get it sort of working again and then made a trip to our local auto mart... (who were really helpful for free!) and after spending another hour scraping and oiling etc hopefully I will get to class tomorrow.. I mean it's not even that cold here yet.. only -3.22 to be exact!... and it's meant to get to around -20+!!!!

So ice... you can leave me alone! After spending hours outside scraping and fixing I can only just feel my face and nose again. boooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Daft Hands - Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger

Get past the long intro and this is cool.. hehe

Ice is slippery...don't you know....

This is what is left after I had a bit of a slip....
Take special notice of the flaying to the sides... that indicates legs that could not get grip...
Markus had no idea that I was so agile...doing the splits and arm waving all at once...
Need some good winter trek shoes STAT.

Our Swedish Home! Aerial photo.

As you can see our apartment is a wee hike from the actual car park... we are on the waiting list for a car park closer... but walking in the snow and rain to the car park is not a great deal of fun! Fingers crossed that someone moves or sells their car sooner rather than later! We only had one person ahead of us on the list and that was around a year ago....

Swedish For Immigrants AKA SFI

Well after all the waiting.... I rung them last week on Thursday to once again ask WHEN does the course start... there had been no weekly night sessions the previous week as it was school holidays... Once I had finally gotten through, I was told that the course had started on TUESDAY that week... I was seriously not impressed and asked why I had not received a letter... She promised she would go and find out and see if I could start the following day...

Two hours later I receive a call saying , Ja, du komma imorgon...(You come tomorrow). Their reason for not letting me know, was that they had not written on my application sheet, (that I went in person to fill out with them when I first arrived...) that I wanted to do the day course. WHAT?????? Why else would you go in and fill out an application form????? sigh..... so classes have started and it's not really awe inspiring stuff...
She teaches entirely in Swedish, which essentially means you are left guessing at what she might mean half the time. Luckily I have been working hard during the night course and have been studying myself, so I sort of "loosely" get what she means.. but as I look around the class of around 35 adults I wonder how many are going to be here for the long haul.... Already today, Monday and there are a few empty chairs.... I can see that this is not going to be a course that motivates me to Swedish greatness... hehe... But I have met some really nice people.. the class is predominantly middle eastern and Somalian, with a mix of English, Russian, Spanish, Italian, Portuguese, Japanese etc.. you get the idea...

As a teacher myself, I am trying so hard to sit back and not "teach" the others at my table.... I guess that I would do things a lot differently, for example there are NO picture cues... crazy, when you think there is no point of reference for the new nouns that she is introducing... she just says them in sentences and expects everyone to know what she is talking about.... and if someone looks confused she says it slooooooooowly, (as if that helps!!!!) I wonder if she realises that by using picture cues with new words then the majority of the class would understand her faster... She has an overhead projector so I don't see why not.. I guess preparation time of resources would require too much of an effort...

This course could be GREAT. It could be OUTSTANDING! But unfortunately it is mediocre at best. You have 35 eager and enthusiastic pupils...the least the teacher could do is make an effort.

I think I might continue to pop into the night classes, where at least I can pick up some worksheets!

Bottom line is do I think this course will help me to learn Swedish to the level that is required for me to continue teaching in this country? Nej!
But I will see how it goes and after a few months might have to look into going to a paid private course.

Snow pictures

As you can see.... it's winter here!
If you click on the picture you can see them better!
These photos are taken from around Norsjö.

So Swedish....

Markus has cooked me a fantastic meal (his mums recipe!) and we are about to watch ABBA hehe... might be able to wrangle a Swedish massage later as well!! wooo hoooo!!!! You can't get more Swedish than this!

Although, feeling slightly depressed because someone has bought MY SNOWMOBILE (pictured in earlier blog this month), ok was not going to buy it... but I liked looking at it... now it's gone... gone... gone.... sigh.... next winter......

Chasing the Northern Lights

My obsession with the northern lights continues to grow... think twister chasers in the USA and you can sort of imagine what I am like with the northern lights...They are elusive and so far I have not managed to see them this year. Last Thursday when they were highly active, we went driving out of Umeå, about 30 mins out from town to see if we could spot them... Unfortunately it was cloudy and we could see nothing! The next night we were in a small town called Norsjö about 2 1/2 hours drive north west from Umeå. Again the hourly forecast said active ... so we grabbed our warm clothes and set off again... No luck.. this time a very full and bright moon lit up the sky so that the northern lights escaped us once again...

There are no predictions for any big displays now for at leasta couple of weeks... booooooooo.

OMC - How bizarre

One hit wonder... but I LOVED THIS SONG!!!!

Muppet Show - Swedish Chef - making chocolat moose

To the swedish unbelievers (yes you Markus).. there really is a swedish chef on the muppets!!!!!

SNOW!

First snow of the year.... 20th October!!!! Didn't settle but snowed huge fluffy snowflakes for a few hours.. sensational!
It's gone from autumn to winter in a matter of a couple of weeks... the leaves from the pictures taken earlier this month are now bare... thought it was getting a bit chilly...

Baking bread is harder than it seems...

Cinnamon rolls.. great taste.. ugly to see... my baguettes?... heavy and chewy... need bread maker STAT!!!! Think its all in the kneading and rising... sigh.... Bread makers here cost a fortune so will have to check them out while in London.

Was going to post a picture but they were not worthy.... :-(

Home decorating begins... well sort of...

We bought a sander. Yep.. to get rid of the hideous border in lounge so we can start painting.. have everything we need but need to get rid of border ASAP. Tried sanding by hand.. but as its high up (I cant reach really...) we decided to buy a small sander to wizz through..
Firstly... who knew that such a small job could cause so much dust????? Hence we are only halfway through as we need to get a mask....

Also the Swedish don't have carpet flooring in their houses... for a country that has snow a great deal throughout winter I find this a bit strange. You can have a rug or two but carpets are just not Swedish! So have been trying to find a nice shaggy or fluffy rug for the lounge so that our feet are not freezy in winter..(ok, my feet)... Once we have painted then we will start to think about curtains and things... Its hard going from the UK where everything you could possibly want is in a shop somewhere... but here choice seems limited and people make their own curtains and things like that...

Things like bread... Its funny when your are not working you suddenly have time to be interested in a whole lot of different things... I am now into making bread.. (Muffins was the last couple of weeks hehe).
Have the yeast and everything and of course the swedish way is from scratch... going to make baguettes tommorow....

It's a bit chilly today but.....

This was in today's English version of the Swedish news.... It was Autumn for about 5 minutes and now its winter???? I don't reckon it will snow yet.. but what do I know?

Which unfortunately brings me to my current snowmobile obsession. I want one.. I NEED one.. sigh.. It's not to be... not until I have a job at least! Then once I can afford one Woooooooooo Hoooooooooo

Snow warning issued for central Sweden

Published: 11th October 2007 12:55 CET
Online: http://www.thelocal.se/8760/

Many parts of central Sweden are bracing themselves for the first snow of the season, with motorists warned to expect slippery conditions.

Meteorological agency SMHI issued a Class 1 warning on Thursday from Värmland in the west to Uppland in the east and all the way up to Jämtland and Västernorrland.

The Dalarna, Gävleborg and Jämtland regions are expect to receive the heaviest downpour, with meteorologists forecasting 5 to 15 centimetres of snow.

"Unfortunately a lot of people are just as surprised every year," said police spokesman Anders Wallin.

While motorists in the north of the country are seldom caught unawares, their counterparts further south never seem to learn.

"Even if they have gone out in the morning and scraped ice off their windscreens, people are somehow surprised when it's suddenly slippery. That's the unfortunate reality," said Anders Wallin.

He noted that many accidents in October could be prevented by timely preparation.

"Put on the winter tyres in time, not when it's already slippery. If the tyres haven't been used since the spring they'll need to be driven for a good few kilometres before regaining their softness," said Wallin.

He also pointed out the importance of adapting to the prevailing conditions in order to avoid driving off the road.

"People tend to say that 'the accident was caused by icy roads'. But usually it was really caused by excessive speed. Adapt your speed to road conditions and keep your distance more than usual," said Wallin.

I WANT THIS!!!!!!

The Instant Kiwi Attitude #2 (For Mzungu)

Jailhouse Rock

Who knew that jail could be so much fun...I guess rehabilitation does work for some? Can't wait to see if this takes off in prison in the UK or NZ hehe can you imagine the big blokes? Mwhahahaha

Another Beautiful Autmn day in Umeå

Yellow and Blue

For My English Friends

HAHAHAHAHA

Pretty Fly For A Maori Guy

For Mars and Amanda ow

Nz ad that never would be shown anywhere else!

So un PC I love it.

Autumn Berries in Umeå

So peaceful!

Swedish Healthcare System

I had my first experience at a Swedish hospital yesterday.
WOW. After the initial panic of realising that I could not understand the different parking signs of where I was allowed to park..(frantically phoning my Swedish to ask him what does it mean....) I arrived for my appointment at 1.25pm. (My actual appointment being 1.30.)
Finding the right floor and then the reception for x ray.. I stupidly forgot to take a queue number.. oops.. However.. then I took one..10 seconds later the lovely guy even walked me to where I was to be x-rayed as he knew I would have trouble reading the signs... I had just sat in a chair.. taken out my book... when 1.30 ON THE DOT the door opens to the room and the nurse asks me to come inside... 15 mins later I am out and on my way home.
In the UK I would have expected to be waiting at least a couple of hours! I had even paid for a few hours parking so good deed of the day, I gave my ticket to an elderly woman who just pulled up. (She was stoked)!

Love Sweden!

NZ ad 42 below

mwahahahahahaha

World Famous in New Zealand since ages ago

The Instant Kiwi Attitude

Kiwi Mad World Version

Gingerbread haka

Elk House

Kings of the forest!

I am officially shorter than an elks ass...

Umeå Sculpture Park...

Seriously not impressed by the quality of sculptures here.... Initially thought they were done by students at the school...only to find out they are submitted by international artists... Oh dear....Having seen outdoor sculptures from many different countries on my travels was really excited about going to have a look... disappointing. I think the second scullpture here sums up what I think about it....

Umeå in Autumn